Saturday 7/25/2009 8:45pm

I found myself in Nairobi once again today, on mission "Buy Clothes for Mary," who is starting as an au pair in Koln, Germany in the Fall. First we ate at Trattoria (still... the only restaurant I've been to in Nairobi). When I asked her if she liked mushrooms, she said she didn't know what they were. We decided to split a pizza that came with them; she would pick them off if she didn't like them. Soon the waiter brought something for the table, and she pointed to it and asked "are these the mushrooms?" I told her no, that's just bread, they always bring a basket of it at Italian restaurants.

Marketplaces just outside Nairobi are where modern economics goes to die. The concept of value is all messed up; I saw $1500 designer leather boots sell for $10. And if you ever wonder what happens to all those extra clothes from the Gap that people don't buy, I can tell you where they end up: in a marketplace just outside Nairobi. Do you have something from 20 years ago that you always wish you'd bought two of, because yours is just too old to wear? You can also buy it in a marketplace just outside Nairobi. (Is that something black spandex bike shorts with neon splatter paint stripes down the sides? Because I can pick some up for you if you'd like). Along the 1 km of arbitrary-quality pants, sweaters, jackets, tees, socks, shoes, underwear, and jewelry, nothing was more than $10. Where necessity overtakes indulgence, everything costs the same.

We were highly unsuccessful, because people saw Mary with me and started hiking up the prices. It seems to be widely believed that white people will buy anything - at any price. Vendors came up to me with all sorts of things they thought might interest me. One friendly vendor stopped me in my tracks by stretching a pair of boxer briefs out in front of my face, which made Mary and I double over in laughter.

Mary and I joked around that to hide my whiteness, I need a veil like the Somali women. I dared her to go up to one of the women and ask her "excuse me, but where did you get your dress?" And then it grew into "wow, it really brings out your eyes," "that color looks great on you!" and "do you think it comes in blue?" By the end of the night we made plans to just get a sheet, cut eye-holes in it, and wear sun glasses over it, like a cool ghost.

By now you're probably dying of curiosity: turns out, she loved the mushrooms.